Neaker Girl

Sunday, May 14, 2006
I think I need a happy pill.

No matter how you look at it, it's all depressing. I have had just a really chitty day and I know it is in part to not sleeping, but all in all, it's chitty. I wonder if I could talk the doc into giving me a pill that makes me just not give a chit about anything because I don't think there is such a thing as a happy pill. My hair keeps falling out and at this rate, I will be totally bald within 6 months. Maybe there is a pill for that too.
Think that I am just tired of everyone's expectations from me and I just want to crawl under the covers and pretend that I don't exist anymore. If it is not one thing, it's another and nothing is right for anyone. Can't please myself, how can I be expected to please anyone else. I work my arss off for nothing at all and no appreciation from anyone. I am still expected to come home and clean and cook after working 10 and 12 hour shifts, and if I have a poor attitude or I am just tired, Well, IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!!. If I just don't do anything, then I listen to the hmmms and the wines all day long. Everyone in this house needs to get off their flipping arsses and do it themselves.
I just think that I am going to explode or keel over and then I will still continue to listen to everyone else tell me that I'm not doing that right either. Tired of that too. Always listening to how I need to do things. For crying out loud, it's supposed to be mother's day today, not everyone else's day.
So I spent today sitting in my jammies trying to do nothing, but that does not happen. So I can come online and bitch about it all. Wow that's reassuring to me. Can't tell ya how flipping frustrated I am right now.
Ohhh well, here we go again with all the little noises and keep it to yourself frustrations because I wouldn't wait on you hand and foot today while you all sit on the computer playing games all day long. Boy sounds like a life we should all have.
Sorry for blowing off some steam, but if I didn't, well, probably pack all my shit and just leave, drive off into the sunset never to be heard from again.
So now that I am done making everyone else feel horse chit, sorry, I feel a little better.
Will be back soon. Everyone take care
Love me

Posted by Neaker Girl :: 5/14/2006 08:30:00 PM :: 1 comments